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Ya think? High hopes I had of letting it all flow from my agile fingertips only to find weeks going by and still I am hesitant. I am going to do my very best to clog the net with all my words today because I am tired of going to bed at nite with the nagging thought “ I really need to work on my blog tomorrow” and it wasn’t happinin.
On a good note, I have tackled tasks which I usually avoid doing until it is necessary so as you can see, my sneaky little brain was helping me to avoid “The Blog”. This I have been doing unconsciously and it didn’t come to the forefront until my son came over and said “wow, you cleaned the junk drawer in the kitchen?….What’s up with that?”
So I need to start implementing the mindset whereas this blog is to be looked at as a positive step towards finally getting various crap out from hiding places that underhandedly effect my life here and there. Just because I don’t like to talk about it doesn’t mean it isn’t lurking in the shadows ready to chime in and make me feel less than harmonious. I have tried everything else so since I type about 90 wpm, not even my WP skills can I use as an excuse.
The reason I don’t seek any sort of therapy for my various “quirks” (that being my new talent for avoiding people and public places) is because I wasn’t always this way and I am not depressed. Takes quite a bomb going off for me to get all riled up and I am kind of a semi health nut so I don’t like taking drugs or drink. It’s everyone around me that for some reason thinks that I am insane for wanting to stay in all weekend so I hear the infamous “you should go talk to somebody if your having a hard time getting back out in the world again….”
Sitting in a room full of stale despondent energy talking about how stupid I was to place vast amounts of trust and love into people who enjoyed the act of betraying me sounds like a recipe for going home and crying myself to sleep. My thinking is how can someone help me when then haven’t walked in my shoes.
Anyway, I am sure many are helped but I do know that many people have thought therapy is just a quick fix and as the days go by, an appt is perhaps missed, the same ole issues will find there way back on to the table.
I am not sure there is any ONE solution to fixing the effects of “when bad things happen to good people”. As far as I am concerned, time is the greatest healer of all. Even scars become less visible on the body over the years, well, it’s the same for the ones that no one can see. At least it has “seemed” that way to me and how my own personal pain has lessoned over the years.
But, I will say this, if you ignore the pain instead of seeing why it came to your life in the first place, you will be gifted with the same sort of situations over and over.
Throughout my journey I have come to the realization that some of the most selfish people, the ones who you would never suspect are the ones who are the most dangerous. (i.e.. “he was such a nice quiet man…I can’t believe he had all those bodies in the basement”…that’s kinda funny I know but its really the sad state of our world)
Well, my life hasn’t been that extreme but then again I do have some stories which would curl a persons hair. To this day I am rather surprised at myself for getting thru it with at least my sanity, it was touch and go, but I think last I checked, I still have my wits about me.